I always used to wonder , "why is she afraid of changes?" Well, as I've gotten older, I've challenged myself to embrace change and recognize it's apart of life. I had to reposition my mindset on what I choose to "build my life on". The song says, "I've built my life around you. I'm choosing to build my life around things, my kids, husband, career, positions and other things we can't take to heaven, sort of speak. Sounds crazy right?! 

This season also reminds me of the hard times I've overcome and how I can use them as a blueprint to beat future struggles I will face. 

For instance, when I went for my 20 week anatomy scan for my son, Luke. I was faced with a concern from the Maternal Medicine physician who saw me. She recognized that there was a drop of calcium near his heart also known an EIF. An echogenic intracardiac focus (or EIF) a small bright spot seen on a developing baby’s heart during an ultrasound which is generally harmless. (University of Colorado) Well at the time, it didn't sound harmless. But the docs were doing there job and following due diligence and legal points.

Excited for hoodie season!

Thankfully, we chose not to proceed with the in-utero testing because we got a second opinion from another OB-GYN and my husband also understood the details that were presented to us. 

I'm human and I struggle with fear too. But this time, I was fearless. It was this strong sense of peace knowing that it was going to work out for my good. Also, knowledge is power, the fact that Kirk, understood the body (science nerd) really helped us stay in the peace/chill zone versus panic and fear.

I will create a video one day soon on how women in particular, and men- must become our own health advocates. I'm incredibly thankful for medicine and the strides being made. But it's important to partner with your health professionals instead of letting them make all of the decisions. We need to research and pose questions and solutions that can ultimately save our lives.

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I'm hyped about the rich fall colors and eventually scarves, warm coffee and pumpkin everything! The top is from Anthropologie but no longer available. I'll see if I can find a similar one.

Can't keep leopard away from this Jersey girl. CLICK HERE for the earrings I'm rocking from my shop.

My baby girl began Kindergarten. "I love school mommy! I never want to go back to the baby school."

Luke is a flirt. He only blows kisses to women and randomly hugged to moms at the park. UH OH!

Whole outfit is Old Navy and sneakers H&M. When did H&M get so pricey?!

My first delivery was with a different doctor and hospital. I ended up having an emergency c-section with my daughter because, though I was progressing through every stage of delivery and fully dilated 10 cm, pushed for 2 hours, contractions and all. Her head was hyperextended as opposed to tucked in chin to chest. I was told by the midwives who saw me through my last pregnancy with Luke that a hyperextended head can possibly by corrected with a trained medical profession in utero. After my 1st emergency c-section with Alyssa, I was very thankful that we were both safe and healthy after delivery. However, I was upset that my medical team didn't thoroughly understand why my delivery wasn't progressing. One of the many reasons why the c-section rate is shooting up in the US. Nevertheless, I'm so thankful for this procedure because it saves countless lives. If more women in 3rd world countries had access to this medical phenomenon; mortality rates would be significantly less.

I decided to get an elective c-section to ensure everything was safe this time around and that I wouldn't gamble with a potential second emergency c-section. The best decision I chose to make. I recognized that I didn't have to give into a forced pressure of perfection in my head from myself. What was there to prove to myself? That I was more woman, strong, or just to have the experience of pushing? That's silly!





They placed the IV drip in my arm. Then came the painful epidural. I was numb from waist down. My anesthesiologist, very serious guy but with impeccable bedside manner remained close and asked me what I wanted to listen to, I requested Hall & Oates. They made the incision and tried to pull Luke out. It was harder than they thought, after some intense tugs and pulls- I heard the sweetest sound. It was the voice of heaven kissing earth. The tender sound of an infant crying for the first time. They bent the curtain and I looked at the grey, dewy baby flailing his arms in the air crying. I got to hug him instantly and kiss his face. They whisked him away to make sure everything was performing well.






I was monitored closely and placed on meds to monitor me for any infections. Baby was doing great and stayed in the nursery overnight so we could rest. Meanwhile, Alyssa was with my family begging to come to the hospital. We decided to have her come visit when we were being discharged (Easter Sunday)  since her little spirit would be crushed if she left without us and her latest muse, Lukey. I began walking around the hospital, standing, using the toilet on my own and everything. Kirk cared for me the whole time. I'm so thankful for him!


Whatever your story happens to be embrace your journey, accept and reach out for help. The ultimate goal is a healthy baby and a healthy mother. I'm so thankful for God's hand over my life and from keeping me from falling, angel protection, providing our needs, my village (friends, cousins and brothers) always caring for Alyssa, the notes, gifts, visits and just all the love!

Next week, I'll be sharing recovery, post partum blues, breastfeeding, wellness and getting back to work/passion projects.

Sending you love and hugs!